I changed my blog link. I erased everything on facebook and I will change my phone number tomorrow. And I am going to dump everything you gave me. But one thing for sure I can't delete you in my mind. Of course I can't because what we been through in 4 years, when I was that pretty (lol..hahaha...whatever) and then the time you work and you got fat too. haha. (Now your super cute, right? I love what you did to your hair. And I am ugly, now. wow. We're totally different..) I can even remember everything. But now I know its all gone. I know that you are having someone new in your life, someone prettier, someone nicer, and someone that can be there when you are sad, while I'm stuck here. When I knew the truth, I was being crazy. This isn't happening to me. And I want to kill myself, seriously. I took a knife and I try to cut whatever I can cut.
Then I realised.
I couldn't.
I am not a God. I can't take my life as I please and I know for sure I will regret it FOREVER. But I have HIM. I have HIM to depend on, to cry on, to tell everything to. I calmed myself and I pray to HIM. Yes, to HIM. My world isn't at the end, yet until HE calls me back.
I beg for your forgiveness, Lord.
I humble myself to You.
This hurt so much, this, what You lend to me, and You took it back. But I know that everything You did, everything, has its own reason.
I do love him, but You are, the MOST I love. You are the MOST I wanted to be with. This is not the end. This might be a new start to a happy life. Even if I come back to You before I could even cherish that moment, before I could even live that life, my faith is upon You.
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