My sixth semester has started and we are all not really busy with the classes or assignments, yet. We came to our classes and found out that our lecturers are the best among the best (some of them are so-so but actually, they are acceptable. Just please, don't stress us out.) The environment and surroundings are pretty neat and changed because some classrooms were renovated last year and they installed us air-conditioners, pheww and thanks.
But that does not matter.
And what's with the serious issues? Lot's of them, but I think all that matters to me do not really matter to you guys, my fellow friends.
Look. I think I need help but I don't know where I can find the HELP. I am too shy to get help from doctors, I got no extra funds to go to psychiatrist or whatever they call the people that cure mentally unstable people, and personally, I think people will laugh at me.
I think I am too thinking over something. Is that bad? It is like you put something in my mind- just one simple word, and I can make it complex in few seconds. If I think about something or someone, I can think about them to the extent that I don't even want to mention it to you guys. Sometime it disgusts me. Sometime I take pleasure from it. And sometime I kill- yes, I kill the 'subject'. Mind power is great because nothing can stop you from imagining and taking control over everything in your mind, but it becomes hazardous if you have the same problem as mine. It is like my head is a walking time bomb that can erupt whenever, wherever. In any situation. Yes, literally speaking. It's like the mind of me working itself and taking the reign of my sanity from me. Tell you what, I can think about a stupid thing for days not to find the solution (in my case what the things that I thought have no end), but just merely thinking about it!
Actually, I never realized that I have this kind of problem but something had happened last year and the something ticked my nerves and- I became aware of this particular problem. I googled, and some says I might have this mental disorder- so it appears that thinking too much is a mental health problem. And some says it is the 'angsty teenager's problem' which I think I am not so in the zone because I am an adult- I will turn 22 years old this year. Then when a friend of mine suggested to me to be ignorant, I know my problem is worst than I thought it would be.
Help. I always think I need mental medication but a friend said medication is for crazy people. I am not crazy but I think I am slightly crazy, sometimes because the over thinkingness of me and my brain. Help. I am scared and alone.
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